Snowplow Parenting: The Decline of Our Society

April 17, 2019April 18, 2019Attitude

Helicopter parenting, snowplow parenting, all the different versions of it, protecting our kids from having any anxiety as children, is probably the largest source of depression in our country.

These ways of parenting are not preparing your children how to deal with their future anxieties or how to deal with life in general. We need to shift our attitudes.

Graham C.L. Dewy Davey, PhD talks about the anxiety caused by this in his article “Helicopter, Snowplow, and Bubble-Wrap Parenting – How is anxiety transmitted from parents to their children?” Many times anxiety ultimately ends up in depression. And we wonder why these kids end up depressed in their 30’s and 40’s. Well it came from our coddling them too much.

There is another version of parenting, which is the old-day proper way called hold your child accountable parenting. It is a lot firmer and doesn’t let children get away with things. It holds them accountable as much as possible. For one example, it restricts their use of social media. Social media has been known to be a huge source of depression and suicide among children and students. The bullying alone is enough reason to limit your child’s access to social media.

Parents have also got to stop trying to get them into colleges they shouldn’t. Stop snowplowing their way in.

Not all kids should go to college. Think about it. You could go to college to be a teacher making about $45,000 a year. Or you could spend two years in a trade and start out at $80,000 a year.

You could go to work for Google right out of high school. They won’t pay you but $20 to $25 an hour initially. But they will pay you $60 to $70 an hour after two years working there. It’s like Walmart. Everyone raises hell about Walmart, but their average income is $25 to $30 after three years of employment.

The point is there are many successful people without a college degree.

The main thing today is we’ve got to stop this snowplowing and helicoptering and coddling our kids.

For single parents, we need to figure out how to help them get role models for their children. They don’t have to be the same ethnic upbringing, just a good person who will volunteer to “adopt” a single parent family. There are thousands of great people out there who want to help. Everyone is trying to be White on White and Black on Black and I firmly disagree with that theory. If somebody helps make a family stronger, I don’t care what color they are. I think we should live in a colorless society.

The one thing I’m sure of is that we’ve got to practice more discipline and accountability.

Anyway, let’s get rid of the helicopter and snowplow parenting. And let’s take responsibility and get these darn smart phones out of our young children’s hands.

There is a great article from Business Insider, “Silicon Valley parents are raising their kids tech-free – and it should be a red flag“, that shows the reason their kids are tech-free. I think they’re right. We need to limit our children’s use of technology. They shouldn’t have a cell phone until they are at least 12 years old. And even then it should be limited use. Make your kids earn their tech time. Only allow them to use it after all of their homework and chores are done.

Don’t be afraid to hold your children accountable. Quit snowplowing or helicoptering or bubble wrapping them. They will love and appreciate you more because of it.

Our Moral Compass Needs to Get Back on Course

April 3, 2019April 3, 2019Attitude, Freedom of Speech, No Hate No Violence

The moral compass of today’s society has really gone astray. Not to mention the decline in emotional intelligence. Between the hate crime accusations from Jussie Smollett and the inappropriate touching claims against Joe Biden, what are we supposed to think? Oh, and let’s not forget the exoneration of President Trump from colluding with the Russians.

When it comes to Jussie who knows if we’ll ever get the truth, but either way that story pans out, hate and resentment were the culprits. If Jussie is guilty he had enough hate and resentment in him to make false claims. And if he’s innocent then those who attacked him were full of hate and resentment as well. Either way, it’s an ugly truth.

Then we have President Trump. The Mueller Report says he didn’t collude with the Russians. You would think we as a country would be happy to hear that our President is not guilty. Instead, people are angry and in disbelief. It really is a sad state of affairs.

The truth is the feelings of hate can go beyond the level of any cognitive thinking or ability to deal with resentments. We really need to rethink and work on tolerance in our country. How do we take situations such as these and turn them into a positive?

How do we as a society become truly objective once again? How do we learn empathy and tolerance? Especially for a difference of opinion?

First of all, we need to re-embrace freedom of speech and learn to listen respectfully to one another. It is okay to disagree. I think a great example of this is in the art of debating. Debating forces both parties to look at both sides of the issue objectively whether you agree with it or not. There is a lesson to be re-learned there.

Our society has fought long and hard for many years for free speech and civil rights. We can’t lose all of the progress we have made because of a current lack of emotional intelligence in our society.

How do we fix this? No Hate No Violence likes to say Stop Talking Do Something. But for now, let’s start talking and start to really listen. Let us know your thoughts!

Let’s Do Something While We’re Talking

Anti-Free Speech in Our Colleges Is Another Form of Bullying

March 25, 2019July 17, 2019Freedom of Speech, Politics

Anti-free speech in colleges is the ultimate bullying. The worst bullies there are, is the people who stop people from free speech. When they don’t support the first amendment, when millions and millions of people have died to support it, they are believing in breaking the law, and believing in hate and violence.

It’s crazy to think that the Free Speech Movement began in 1964 by UC Berkeley students. They were all about protesting a ban on on-campus political activities. All fueled by the struggle for civil rights and opposition to the Vietnam War. What has changed? Now, fifty-five years later, unless you are promoting Liberal views, you are not allowed to speak. You are not welcome. The Liberal moral compass really needs to be looked at. How can we allow ourselves to take such a huge step back in progress?

Anti-free speech quite simply is bullying, and bullying is hate. That’s it. It is a hate that people have developed over the years. And we need to fight it. We need to continue to fight for free speech.

The people who try and stop free speech are the people who have no answers to whatever the comments are. They don’t know how to debate because they have no answers to the problem. They are afraid to have a fair debate. They want to stack the uninformed odds in their favor.

By stopping discussions, you’re nothing but a bully. And if we are against bullying, we should be against anti-free speech. That is my opinion. It’s just not right!

This is being fueled by taxpayer funded College professors, more reasons why we should abolish tenor. Tenor has been greatly abused, often as cover for doing the wrong thing. Questioning American ideals is ok, but encouraging anti-American, anti-free speech, is wrong. Lets do the right thing.

Thank you, President Trump, for signing the executive order protecting free speech on college campuses. I surely hope this can get the current college administrations and the American people thinking more about free speech and what we can do to support it.

BE PROUD TO BE THE BEST GREAT NATION IN THE WORLD

March 20, 2019March 20, 2019Attitude, Politics

America’s wealthy donates more money on an annual basis to help other countries than anyone else. What many don’t understand is that about 20% of the people in the US pay 80% of the taxes. Those 20% paying 80% of the taxes are not all wealthy. Think about that.

Being the greatest nation in the world allows us to help all these other countries in the world. If we don’t continue to work on being the best and greatest nation in the world we won’t be able to help the other countries as much as we do. President Trump could do a better job of pointing that out. We have done more to promote equal rights and human rights in the world than all other countries combined.

We really need to lighten up and focus on what the big issues really are. Can you imagine if we just adopted a more positive attitude moving forward? The Democrats would be so much more productive in a good way rather than creating a divide amongst us.

The Democratic stonewalling needs to stop. I applaud Nancy Pelosi’s decision to not try to impeach President Trump because, as she says, it will only divide our country. Though, I will admit, I am not confident in her intentions.

But, I do think the Democratic Party has some good potential presidential candidates for 2020. If they want to gain momentum with the votes they need to stop the stonewalling Trump Haters at the expense of the voters. The people are tired of it. They are going to lose their seats in the house and presidential elections if they don’t.

One man with conviction will overwhelm a hundred who have only opinions. ~ Winston Churchill

So, let’s get a positive attitude and get rid of the hate and violence. Let’s focus on the more positive we can do in the world to benefit everyone. Remember, the people with good attitudes generally are more successful in life. So, if you want to continue on with a negative attitude then expect to make less money and be in the lower echelon of democracy. But if you want to continue to rise…well then embrace the power of positivity and keep a positive attitude!

REMOVING HATE & VIOLENCE FROM THE POLICE

January 1, 2019May 28, 2019Uncategorized

Some people truly believe that all police officers are bad. There are also some who are certain all police officers hate minorities. When you look at the actual numbers, neither of these views are correct. But that doesn’t mean all police officers are perfect, either. There are bad people everywhere, including in the police. They’re a small percentage, but they are still out there. Those few bad police officers are actively fueling these beliefs, making it tougher for the police to do their job and the community to prosper. Getting rid of those few bad police officers would stop creating the horrible situations that fuel these beliefs.

There’s an elephant in the room preventing that from happening: the police unions. Most police chiefs know who the bad apples are. They know which officers are bigots and racists, which ones are extra violent, and which ones have substance abuse issues. But union regulations keep these officers from being dismissed before they cause problems. Police chiefs need to be able to fire cops that aren’t doing their job correctly or might cause trouble through their habits.

That doesn’t mean that the union should be dissolved. By all means, have an organized workforce. Just don’t let that labor organization run the entire workforce. That power needs to be with the labor force themselves, the ones who are in the thick of it day in, day out, not the ones who are paid millions to govern from afar.

When you get right down to it, the police put their lives on the line for us every day. And God bless them for it! They need to have the freedom and respect to police the bad apples they know are in their midst.

A good start to the change would be to strengthen the role and place of the police in the community. The community should reach out to the police force, and the police force should reach back. Community events like potlucks, brunches, festivals, and more are great ways to do this. Connecting the people directly to the police will show that they’re not all bad, and connecting the police to the people will help the good ones feel better about what they do. It just might even convince the bad ones to start changing their tune.

Bringing Tolerance to Religion and Politics

November 2, 2018May 10, 2019Politics, Religion

It can be easy to think that certain core beliefs are irreconcilable. You see it with religion and with politics: people are so strongly invested in their beliefs that it seems they’ll never work together.

But there is hope, and that’s by finding our common ground in avoiding hate and violence. You see, most people do not believe in hate or violence. It doesn’t matter whether you follow Judaism, Christianity, Buddhism, Islam, or atheism. It doesn’t matter whether you’re on the far right, the far left, or someplace in the middle. The majority of people simply don’t want to live around hate or violence.

It wasn’t always this way, and that change didn’t happen overnight. Take Christianity. It took centuries to move away from the ideas of the Crusades and the Inquisition, a move that’s still in progress. But armed with that big idea of no hate or violence, progress has been made and continues to be made to this day.

What happens if we take that idea and apply it to politics? Most people do not actively want violence or hate in their community and their country, yet we find it in our political and religious discussions.

We have to find a way to take the hate and violence out of our politics and out of our religious disputes. The only way to do that is to work with compromise and tolerance, or the old “give and take.” It might sound old-fashioned, but it’s stuck around because it works. If we’re trying to resolve an issue, then we need to work together. You help me on a bill, I help you on a bill, and in turn we help the people. It’s not entirely what you want and not entirely what I want, but it’s progress. And it’s done without hate or violence.

That’s how democracy is supposed to work. It’s how democracy used to work and how it can work again for everyone. No matter what your religious or spiritual belief, you want society to get better. Like most people, you want something that will help improve everything for everyone.

We need to share our similarities and celebrate our differences. The only way to get there is to embrace compromise and respect, and to reject hate and violence. If we all agree to work toward this ideology, then things would get better. For all of us.

Thank You For Then And Thank You For Now

November 2, 2018November 2, 2018No Hate No Violence

Today marks the 17th year for remembrance of the September 11^th terrorist attacks on the World Trade Center in New York and the Pentagon in Washington, D.C. Four planes were hijacked by Al Qaeda terrorist killing all of the passengers onboard and thousands on the ground. It was a moment in history that we never imagined would ever happen since the attack on Pearl Harbor during World War II. It is a moment in time we will never forget.

From that horrific day emerged a country united in patriotism. All of the first responders who so valiantly worked to save as many lives as possible were immortalized as heroes to everyone. We idolized them. They were our heroes.

I hope that today, as we currently live in a country where our politicians and media strive to divide us, that we remember September 11, 2001. How we united as a country. How we refused to be a victim. How we honored our first responders. How we became stronger as a nation.

It frightens me to think of how much our country’s mentality has changed to such extreme intolerance of others. Especially the use of social media and intolerance of the media to promote violence against the police and to encourage victimology. We have extremists promoting a socialist government. What happened to our pride and our unity as a nation? America the great? America the land of the free? No one in this country is a victim unless they choose to be.

But there is still so much greatness happening in our country. Many are standing up and questioning all of the rhetoric that has been thrown at us. I have a tremendous amount of respect for the #Walkaway Campaign for promoting individual thinking and refusing victimology. It is such a powerful message. It reminds me very much of how we felt 17 years ago today. Empowered and determined.

We want to recognize and say thank you once again to all of the brave men and women who have survived to tell their story and to all of those who gave their lives to save others then and now. You will forever be honored and respected. And never forgotten.

A House Divided Against Itself Cannot Stand

November 1, 2018November 16, 2021Attitude

So much in life revolves around attitude. And only we are responsible for our attitudes. The world presents us with situations. But it’s our choice. We choose how we will react to it. No one else makes that choice for us.

In a time when so many are certain that our country is divided, I think we need to take a closer look at ourselves. If this country is truly divided, then it is our own fault. We have no one to blame other than ourselves for allowing ourselves to react the way that we are.

The world is never going to agree on everything. That is what makes it so beautiful. If we were all the same there would be no uniqueness and life would be boring. So, why is it so hard for us to not accept others for who they are? We need to embrace our uniqueness.

The great thing about attitude is that you can always change it. It’s never too late. In a constantly evolving world that continues to become more and more enlightened, we always have the ability to change things.

One of my favorite presidential quotes is from Abraham Lincoln: “I don’t like that man. I must get to know him better.” Imagine how much less hate and violence there would be in the world if more people adopted that mind set? If we took the time to learn about someone rather than cast hate toward them because we don’t like them or what we think they believe, or we don’t understand them.

It seems fitting that perhaps we should reflect on what our country’s great leaders have told us. The following quotes are some of my favorites:

“To be good, and to do good, is all we have to do.”

~ John Adams

“If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of

your trouble, you wouldn’t sit for a month.”

~ Theodore Roosevelt

“Pessimism never won any battle.”

~ Dwight D. Eisenhower

Click “Presidential Quotes” to view the inspirational quotes from all 45 of our presidents.

Let’s Preserve Our History With Transparency

July 2, 2016August 9, 2019Attitude, Freedom of Speech, No Hate No Violence, Politics

Let’s put up large well-lit plaques instead of tearing down our monuments.

I know there are monuments that some people would love to tear down because they represent a dark part of America’s past. I understand why some of these monuments might offend certain people, and I am sensitive to their pain. However, to tear down these monuments would amount to an erasure of the history that they represent. To remove them disrespects the work of the artist and the historical significance of the pieces as they are.

One of the arguments for the removal of Confederate monuments is that they exist in public spaces without context.

They could be seen as a glorification of ideals that our country no longer represents instead of an example of how far we have come. So, instead of tearing them down, why don’t we provide that context? The cities and states that are home to these monuments should choose to maintain the monuments but put up a plaque that explains who the person was and what they did. In the case of Confederate generals, the plaque would explain the person’s involvement in the Civil War and that the war was fought for the preservation of slavery. The explanation should condemn the enslavement of black Americans, but let’s not forget that these pieces of art have become fixtures in communities and, beyond that, are the work of talented artists who spent time, sweat, and tears on them.

There will be people who are offended by this suggestion.

I recognize that. Those whose ancestors were enslaved and are reminded of that horrific history and pain by these monuments should be the ones in charge of the committees that would oversee what should be written on the plaques. Let those on the side of history that has been silenced for much of the existence of our country tell that story as they want it to be understood. Whether it be a few sentences or several paragraphs, providing context would allow for the preservation of the historical art while condemning racism and slavery.

Don’t we want the United States to be a country of redemption? Forgiveness?

If we don’t acknowledge the grim parts of our history, we may be doomed to repeat them. Adding a large well-lit sign explaining the historical context of these monuments would elevate them from a monument to a lesson. It could explain the wrongs of the person and how much our country has grown. If we intend to move forward and build a stronger, more united country free from the tensions of the past, we need to embrace our history and our monuments for the growth that they now represent.