Helicopter parenting, snowplow parenting, all the different versions of it, protecting our kids from having any anxiety as children, is probably the largest source of depression in our country.
These ways of parenting are not preparing your children how to deal with their future anxieties or how to deal with life in general. We need to shift our attitudes.
Graham C.L. Dewy Davey, PhD talks about the anxiety caused by this in his article “Helicopter, Snowplow, and Bubble-Wrap Parenting – How is anxiety transmitted from parents to their children?” Many times anxiety ultimately ends up in depression. And we wonder why these kids end up depressed in their 30’s and 40’s. Well it came from our coddling them too much.
There is another version of parenting, which is the old-day proper way called hold your child accountable parenting. It is a lot firmer and doesn’t let children get away with things. It holds them accountable as much as possible. For one example, it restricts their use of social media. Social media has been known to be a huge source of depression and suicide among children and students. The bullying alone is enough reason to limit your child’s access to social media.
Parents have also got to stop trying to get them into colleges they shouldn’t. Stop snowplowing their way in.
Not all kids should go to college. Think about it. You could go to college to be a teacher making about $45,000 a year. Or you could spend two years in a trade and start out at $80,000 a year.
You could go to work for Google right out of high school. They won’t pay you but $20 to $25 an hour initially. But they will pay you $60 to $70 an hour after two years working there. It’s like Walmart. Everyone raises hell about Walmart, but their average income is $25 to $30 after three years of employment.
The point is there are many successful people without a college degree.
The main thing today is we’ve got to stop this snowplowing and helicoptering and coddling our kids.
For single parents, we need to figure out how to help them get role models for their children. They don’t have to be the same ethnic upbringing, just a good person who will volunteer to “adopt” a single parent family. There are thousands of great people out there who want to help. Everyone is trying to be White on White and Black on Black and I firmly disagree with that theory. If somebody helps make a family stronger, I don’t care what color they are. I think we should live in a colorless society.
The one thing I’m sure of is that we’ve got to practice more discipline and accountability.
Anyway, let’s get rid of the helicopter and snowplow parenting. And let’s take responsibility and get these darn smart phones out of our young children’s hands.
There is a great article from Business Insider, “Silicon Valley parents are raising their kids tech-free – and it should be a red flag“, that shows the reason their kids are tech-free. I think they’re right. We need to limit our children’s use of technology. They shouldn’t have a cell phone until they are at least 12 years old. And even then it should be limited use. Make your kids earn their tech time. Only allow them to use it after all of their homework and chores are done.
Don’t be afraid to hold your children accountable. Quit snowplowing or helicoptering or bubble wrapping them. They will love and appreciate you more because of it.